She gazed thoughtfully into the distance thinking about the prediction of Nosterdamus.
The planet would be destroyed in 2025 by an asteroid.
“Why am I thinking about the destruction of the world while I myself has one year in hand.My terminal disease is going to kill me in one year.The doctors have already told that.”
Gloom overpowered Arati.
She was in her early sixties and had been retired since 4 years from her post of professor in English. By that time she had become a well known writer too.But when she was detected with the terminal cancer, the fear of death was disturbing her all the time.If there is only one year left, she thought,then she should prepare herself for immediate future.She must leave a positive legacy.
But how?
She was in a range of emotions , such as denial, anger and fear.By the time she had become afraid of the setting Sun,the ticking clock.They symbolised the passage of time ,about time running out.How dreadful the thoughts were !
She contemplated of writing her biography,where she could pour out all her life’s regrets, her dreams and the unspoken truths.
She remembered how her grandma was not at all happy when her parents chose the name Arati for her.She wanted her grand daughter’s name to be Pravati. For her grandma Pravati was a positive name.It meant beginning of a day.She had a bias for the word Arati.Perhaps she thought it a as a mere flame that burnt and finished.
May be she was right.Was it for the name she was suffering from the disease to get finished?
She laughed at her own foolish thinking.”Someone in distress could think only these rubbish”,she muttered to herself.With each passing month her past was unfurling before her mind’s eye.
Her parents had wanted her to marry Alok.For them he was the best boy for her and marrying him she would live a life fully, but she had vehemently objected to marry and to go to another household . As she was the only child ,she wanted to stay always with her parents and to take care of them.She was too adamant to listen to her parents.
That decision of her,made both her mother and father very unhappy.They worried too much about what would happen to her after their death.And that worrying led them to their early deaths.Her father died before reaching the age of sixty years and the mother too passed away hardly one year after her husband.Her relatives and all the friends known to their family had held her responsible for those unfortunate incidents.Even her own friends had blamed her for that.
Arati woke up from her reverie on the sound of her door bell.Her bosom friend Shobha was there.She was the only friend who used to meet her every day.A big book was in her hands.She had brought the Bhagwat Gita.Shobha was a member in the Chinmay Mission in their city.She had the copy which was in English translation and was nicely explained by Swami Chinmayananda.
She knew very well about the mental condition, the mental struggle her friend was going through.With every passing day,she must be facing the stark reality of running out of time.When one is sure about facing death within a period of time,the emotional complexities are sure to rise.
She said to Arati,”never ever sit thinking all the time by yourself. From today onwards go through some slokas of the Gita.I know you have gone through it previously and you know what is there in it,but if you start reading it in a regular basis and contemplate on it ,you can navigate life’s challenges with inner peace and stability.I am sure you can discover the importance of living fully , even with an expiry date.”
Arati gave a wistful smile.”I very much understand what you say.I have always valued your advice.Not only you,many others have told me to read the Bhagwat Gita.I will do it for sure .I have known by my 64 years of life experience that comfort and solace come from family,faith or spirituality. When medicines have failed, I have to choose this path of spiritualism.This is the only option for me”
Six months had already been over of her illness.Her physical health had started deteriorating fast.Sobha tried her best to persuade Arundhati,the unmarried cousin of Arati, to come and stay in her friends house to give company on her last days.She came and Arati seemed happy to see her. At last there was somebody to talk to.
Both the cousins spent most of the time talking about their childhood days,about their school,and the teachers.They also remembered their pranks they were playing with others when they were small.The nostalgia worked as some sort of cooling balm for her agitating mind.Sobha’s worries too lessened a bit.The three of them cooked their favourite dishes and enjoyed eating together.There came a joyful scenario in that doomed house.
But it was for a short time.One night Arati felt breathlessness.Arundhati called Sobha.The ambulance arrived and Arati was admitted in the hospital.Her condition being serious ,she was taken to the ICU.
Both Sobha and Arundhati were in tears.The most dreaded moment had arrived.
“I was expecting this to happen one day,but so soon I had never imagined,”Sobha cried her heart out .She was the one who had seen her friend’s agonies from close quarters.The sad face of her dear friend had always wrenched her heart.
A few days ago Arati had told her,”Gita says the soul is immortal.Only the body is lost by death.It also says about rebirth.Sobha if I get another birth , then I would surely rectify my mistakes I have done in the present life.”
Sobha wondered, what her friend meant by that.Had she over the time had accepted death?That’s why she was talking about another birth??
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Arati -light lit and offered to deities
Pravati-name given to a female
Sloka -a couplet of Sanskrit verse
